how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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LOL we are spamming this site too much!

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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