Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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