What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

all jokes aside...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's brown and sticky A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jwe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops