"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

Knock Knock. Come in.

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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