why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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THE GAME

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops