Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

women sports....

What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

Im taking a shit right now.

Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

Y u do dis?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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