Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy says a joke. It was not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops