Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Wats rong with yo leg.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a horse walks into a blender ow

thumb_up thumb_down +6

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

James Patrick Campbell

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

angelosnyder is not gay

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops