- Anti Joke

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

Water? I hardly know her.

What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight