roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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Keanu Reaves

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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