there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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Donkey lips

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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