What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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