roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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Women's Rights.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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