who looks like justin bieber and is really cool? george darling but i lied about him being cool.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Do you love me? No.

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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I can count to potato.

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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banana

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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