How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops