Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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