What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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these are shit

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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