Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops