How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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