Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Black people are the scum of the earth

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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