Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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TIMMAH!

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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