Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Banana Hamock.

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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