How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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charlie sheen losing

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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