A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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Weed.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops