Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My kids are mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Derp

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops