Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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im a dragon, no im not

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops