why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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2 + 2 = fish

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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i like men but im not gay

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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