My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Hey, Max!!

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Knock knock What?

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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Justin beiber..

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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an athiest walks into a church

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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