Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

penus

Poop

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

heyy emit chase wazzup

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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