What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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The Moon Landing.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

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Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

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pull my finger (farts)

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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