Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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