I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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How old are you? 20

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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