Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops