A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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What color is red paint? Red

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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kennah campion... being nice

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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