your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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