What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops