What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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A kid has no friends.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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