Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops