How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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soccer

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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