- Anti Joke

Alright then, call me sometime then.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... Sigh

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GASP! X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." runs

Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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