A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Christians pornstars.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A black man is picking cotton in a southern white mans field. This is because the white man is paying a more than fair wage and the black man is a 3rd generation cotton picker who enjoys taking part in his heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -44

New mission: refuse this mission

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops