(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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