Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

Hello

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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