yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened to Liam? He Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops