how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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