Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +26

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops