Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops