Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops