Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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( . Y . )

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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