A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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knock knock whos their a person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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