Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

Water? I hardly know her.

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

8===D ~ ~ ~

What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

What is it too late to do? Apologize...

Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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