Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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VAL SUCKS

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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whats worse than god meaner than the devil. the poor have it the rich need it nothing

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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